Navigating the Complex Emotions of Mother's Day

Acknowledging the Weight of the Day

Mother's Day is often portrayed as a universally joyful occasion. It seems like everyone is celebrating, sharing photos, and expressing their love. But for many, this day can be one of the hardest of the year. I want to take a moment to sit with that reality instead of rushing past it.

You’re allowed to feel more than one thing this weekend. You can love your kids and feel completely depleted at the same time. You can feel grateful while also grieving. You can celebrate and still carry a quiet ache underneath it. It doesn’t have to be Instagram-perfect. Real life is messier than that, and that’s not a problem with you. It’s just part of being human.

The Many Faces of Grief

This day carries a heavy weight for many reasons.

For the Woman Trying to Become a Mom

For the woman who has been trying to become a mom and isn’t there yet, this day can be particularly painful. As she scrolls through brunch photos and flower posts, she may feel a mix of grief, longing, and confusion. It’s normal to wonder if something is wrong for feeling this way. But there isn’t.

For the Mom with a Strained Relationship

For the mom whose relationship with her child is strained, the day can feel complicated. She loves her child deeply, but that love can also be painful or one-sided. If she doesn’t receive a card today or hasn’t spoken to her child in months, she may grieve the version of motherhood she once hoped for.

For the Woman Who Has Lost a Baby

For the woman who has lost a baby—whether through miscarriage, stillbirth, or an early loss—Mother's Day can be a stark reminder of her grief. She carried a life, even if only briefly, and her arms still remember that absence. She is a mother, full stop.

For the Mom Who Has Lost a Child

For the mom who has lost a child, today is less about celebration and more about the painful reminder of who is missing from the table. Grief has no clean edges, no timeline, and no end.

For the Woman Unsure About Motherhood

For the woman who wasn’t sure she wanted to be a mom and still isn’t, this day can feel like a pressure cooker. She may feel obligated to express gratitude for a role she didn’t fully choose, or she may find herself in the complicated middle ground where love and ambivalence coexist.

For the Mom Who Wanted More Children

For the mom who wanted more children but didn’t get to have them, there’s a quiet ache for the family she envisioned. She loves the kids she has but still carries that unfulfilled longing.

For the Woman Without a Mother

For the woman who grew up without a mother or with one who hurt her, today can be complicated in a different way. She navigates everyone else’s definitions of what this day is supposed to mean.

For the Woman Who Has Lost Her Mother

For the woman who has lost her mother, today can be a painful reminder of what she no longer has. She may watch others celebrate something she never had or lost too soon. Grief doesn’t follow a schedule, and this day can make it feel fresh.

All of this is real. All of it belongs here.

Embracing Grief

Grief doesn’t ask for permission. It shows up on hard days and celebratory ones, sometimes at the same time. The thing nobody tells you is that feeling this way doesn’t mean you’re not okay. It means you loved something or wanted something deeply enough to feel its absence.

If today feels heavy, your nervous system is likely working overtime. Hard emotions are physical. They reside in the body, not just the mind. If you're feeling wound up or shut down, here are a few small things that can help bring you back to yourself.

Grounding Techniques

1. Cold Water: Put cold water on your face or wrists. It sounds simple, but cold water activates your body's dive reflex and genuinely slows your heart rate. It’s not just a metaphor; it works.

   
   

2. Breathing Exercises: Try breathing out longer than you breathe in. Inhale for four counts and exhale for six or eight. The extended exhale tells your nervous system it’s safe to come down. Even two or three rounds can make a difference.

   
   

3. Physical Support: Get low and slow if you can. Sit on the floor and let your back rest against something solid—a wall or a couch. Your nervous system reads this physical support as safety.

   
   

4. Name Your Feelings: Name what you’re feeling out loud, even just to yourself. “I’m sad, and I’m also angry and tired.” Research shows that naming an emotion reduces its intensity. It doesn’t fix it, but it takes some of the charge out.

   
   

5. Step Outside: Take five minutes outside, not to exercise or clear your head, but just to feel the air. Notice one thing you can see, one you can hear, and one you can feel on your skin. That’s it. That’s enough.

   
   

You don’t have to fix the feeling. You just have to let your body know it’s not in danger. You don’t have to perform happiness today. You don’t have to post anything. You don’t have to be okay with how things are. You’re allowed to feel exactly what you feel—all of it, at once—without it needing to look like anything in particular.

Seeking Support

If you’re carrying something you’ve never really had space to work through, that’s exactly what I’m here for.

I work with women navigating all of it—the motherhood that’s harder than expected, the grief that doesn’t fit the expected shape, and the weight of being a woman in a world filled with opinions about how you should feel and look.

You don’t have to keep holding this alone. If you’re ready to have someone sit with you in it, really sit with you, I’d be honoured to be that person. Book a free 20-minute call at marlodrago.com. No pitch, no pressure. Just a conversation.

Sending you gentleness today, whatever this day holds.

Marlo

Registered Social Worker | Trauma Therapist | marlodrago.com