Everyone keeps telling you to relax. To breathe. To not let it get to you. And you want to, you really do, but your body does not seem to get the message. Your heart races over small things.
You feel wired and exhausted at the same time.
Or you go the other way, flat and foggy and far away, going through the motions with nothing left inside.
Here is what no one told you. That is not a willpower problem. That is your nervous system doing its job.
What is Polyvagal Therapy?
Our Nervous System De-Coded
Polyvagal theory gives us a map for what is happening inside you. Your nervous system is always scanning, below the level of thought, asking one question. Am I safe. When it senses safety, you can rest, connect, and think clearly. When it senses threat, it shifts you into fight or flight, that wired and anxious state. And when threat feels like too much for too long, it drops you into shutdown, that numb and heavy place where you disappear.None of these states are wrong. They kept you alive.
The trouble is that after enough stress or trauma, your system can get stuck in survival mode, reading danger where there is none, long after the danger has passed.Polyvagal informed therapy helps you understand your own patterns and, gently, teaches your body that it is safe again. We work with your nervous system rather than against it. Not by forcing calm, which never works, but by building small, real experiences of safety until your body starts to believe them.
Over time, you find your way back to yourself.When we work together, we go slow and we go gently, because safety is not something you can force. We get to know your patterns, we notice what tips you into fight, flight, or shutdown, and we build small, repeatable ways to help your body come back to steady.
Over time, those small moments add up, and your baseline starts to shift. Sessions are held online, in whatever space feels safe to you, and I work with clients across Ontario. If you have extended health benefits, therapy with a Registered Social Worker is often covered, and I direct bill to Telus eHealth and Sun Life.If you have been living in survival mode and calling it your personality, there is another way to be. If any of this feels like you, you are welcome to book a free consultation. No pressure. Just a first step.